This is my last post on this blog, It's not the end of my writing though. I'm moving my writings to WordPress. and Down under is the link to my new blog.
Friday, December 8, 2006
Saturday, December 2, 2006
I missed my guitar, just want to play a tune. New poem, new song. My heart bears a lot of words a lot of feelings.I feel I sometimes need some silence, some quietness with someone I love and trust. Life gets distracting sometimes that we loose the best thing we ever have. We can loose a good friend in the crowd, we can loose a lover in the race of life, we can loose even our own sense of being under the burdens of work and responsibility. Strange, sometimes to run, do do do turn to be less effective than to wait. The nature revealed a lot of secrets in the silence more than the rush. In me I feel this longing for quietness, a calm song and a healing word. I want to make a toast to an old friend, tell a funny story about the times of my childhood or maybe just watch the stars in this long blue night. Simple things with loved ones is the essence of happiness in this life.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Been a while now, feeling so abstract. Like as if I am an idea or maybe a character in a story. Something pulls my strings I move, another rests so I don't. My mouth is shut silent and my mind is so tired of thinking along yet going nowhere. I go to bed but I don't sleep, I drive by but I never get enough. I eat drink and drug myself out of consciousness and yet I do not rest. My heart feels so quiet inside my ribs. The walls are closing up against me trapping me inside my very own self. Blackness is wrapping me slowly, the color changes so slow that my eyes cannot see the difference. I want to run but my legs wont take me, my shadow is always chasing me without a break. I run and run and it sticks to me, it grown in the dark that it overwhelms me and traps me in. I can't breathe, it drowns me deep within. My eyes cry out for the yellow and the blue, black sinks within my soul and kills the good old memories of the sun in me. Memories are not always attached to the past, memories are all that link me with life, tomorrow. Memories of the promises, Memories of the dreams, Memories of the Vision, Memories of Hope, encouragement, Mountain tops. Memories of my God, of His words. Memories of His Glory and His Temple. I don't know why I am writing this, I don't even know what more I will. Maybe I am a little bit depressed. The waiting is such a long process, looks monotonous but it's not. I fell during my long climb up that mountain but I should get up and try again. I broke my legs, my arms.. doesn't matter as long as I didn't break my will. My will that should have been broken and shattered long ago if it wasn't for Him who sustains me. Tears swim silently within my eyelids they don't want to leave, they don't want to show, neither to me nor for anyone. I know He sees them all, He knows.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
The streets were so quiet as I drove by, though its the busy streets of Cairo but it seems like I don't seem to hear the sounds of their roaring engines no more. Their flashing lights don't seem to bother me again, the blind man's blessings- thank God its not the curse. The symphony of their slow motion down the streets doesn't seem to bother me like before. Their smoke, their fumes even the smell of their burning tires doesn't seem to bother me no more. Strange! That doesn't seem like me no more, seems like I got more dosage of morphine in my blood these days. My heart beats like a rocker's drum set, filling in my silence with base like waves of troubles. Mind is restless and heart dances along. I went to a cafe, one of my old times favorite. Same place different faces, strangers; or maybe I am the stranger. Loud, they all are loud, different tongues, various conversations. I decided to plug my ears to some music I had on my laptop, which is not really mine. In a world of noise, where no one listens even if you do scream; in a world of distraction, where people adore distortion where should I speak? Fine, isn't that life? Whatever. Ordered some green mint fizz, it's so strange how the mint sticks together to itself, and fights not to mix up with the whole drink. Aren't we all? We might be green and juicy but we never add our flavor to the whole world. Let go of me! I want to take my heart beats to the world! Life here I am! The hell with your celebrities, and your idols, Here I am! The hell with your standards and qualifications! Here I am! I shall not stay in the slime of your green community, I shall not stick to your script, I am no longer a part of your plot. I Rebel.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Mind was growing weary, head was so tired, thinking.. Why? It hurt me so bad, my heart couldn't take it. The pain was far more to be kept in silence and the hurt was for more to endure. It's strange why would people take you for granted when you trust them, betray you while you love them! Sometimes I wonder why the faithful ones get repaid so lowly and the mean get a good reward! Why the honest never find a place while the evil are always welcome! Is there so much evil in this world that would affect the solar system? How much dishonesty is there? Let me be selfish for a moment and care not about the world and only think of me, I don't know.. I just don't know what I feel and why for my mind too weary and heart so thin.