Tough Birth

The streets were so quiet as I drove by, though its the busy streets of Cairo but it seems like I don't seem to hear the sounds of their roaring engines no more. Their flashing lights don't seem to bother me again, the blind man's blessings- thank God its not the curse. The symphony of their slow motion down the streets doesn't seem to bother me like before. Their smoke, their fumes even the smell of their burning tires doesn't seem to bother me no more. Strange! That doesn't seem like me no more, seems like I got more dosage of morphine in my blood these days. My heart beats like a rocker's drum set, filling in my silence with base like waves of troubles. Mind is restless and heart dances along. I went to a cafe, one of my old times favorite. Same place different faces, strangers; or maybe I am the stranger. Loud, they all are loud, different tongues, various conversations. I decided to plug my ears to some music I had on my laptop, which is not really mine. In a world of noise, where no one listens even if you do scream; in a world of distraction, where people adore distortion where should I speak? Fine, isn't that life? Whatever. Ordered some green mint fizz, it's so strange how the mint sticks together to itself, and fights not to mix up with the whole drink. Aren't we all? We might be green and juicy but we never add our flavor to the whole world. Let go of me! I want to take my heart beats to the world! Life here I am! The hell with your celebrities, and your idols, Here I am! The hell with your standards and qualifications! Here I am! I shall not stay in the slime of your green community, I shall not stick to your script, I am no longer a part of your plot. I Rebel.

One picture every day movie

So creative, I love it!

This is my first Video blog, I believe I will be doing it much often but maybe with my own videos next time.

Trust and Treason

Mind was growing weary, head was so tired, thinking.. Why? It hurt me so bad, my heart couldn't take it. The pain was far more to be kept in silence and the hurt was for more to endure. It's strange why would people take you for granted when you trust them, betray you while you love them! Sometimes I wonder why the faithful ones get repaid so lowly and the mean get a good reward! Why the honest never find a place while the evil are always welcome! Is there so much evil in this world that would affect the solar system? How much dishonesty is there? Let me be selfish for a moment and care not about the world and only think of me, I don't know.. I just don't know what I feel and why for my mind too weary and heart so thin.

That Darn Insomnia

Been more than two nights now.. Can't sleep!
Mind goes on thinking and thinking like crazy, heart troubled with his own beat. I sleep for a moment and yet dreams attack me, I see faces, people, events but I don't understand what's going on. Entrenched somewhere with bullets flying around and I can hardly know where do they come from. My spirit and body are troubled, something is wrong but I can't figure out what yet. In the past I used to see my enemies face to face, those hideous scorpions, those cunning snakes, those ugly beasts and demons, but recently I see none. Have they put on masks? Or are they using a different medium? I don't know. I seek to write because I find refuge in speaking out my mind to myself in clear and plane words. It's hard, I can hardly find peace, can hardly close my eyes and retire to sleep.

On that Altar of Obedience..

Sacrifices, the letting go process. The choice I make to confirm my choice and establish my devotion to the destiny I peruse. I have placed a lot on that altar, but never enough. A lot but not all. I know it has to be complete, paid in full or else it would be meaningless. What good is a sacrifice if I only place what I don't care about on that altar? What kind of a choice is it that I make by not eliminating the magnets that pull me in the other direction and wouldn't stop pulling me somewhere I don't choose. Would I sacrifice the bull if I can't let go of the sheep? Would I give up what's of great value to me while I can't give up the nonsense I keep? Shall a thief be entrusted with the stores of gold while his hands still steal the straw? Shall the dishonest be treated as the one who cares about the slightest of the details that really shows his honesty? There is a reason I was given those little tests that people saw as narrow mindedness. There were reasons beyond our shallow human eyes and minds. The one who's honest, is honest; in minor issues as well as major ones. It's either light or darkness. There is no grey zones to the eyes of God. His eyes of justice sees clear and discerns well, much better than anybody. His angle and perspective are the absolute, that which I want to follow and see. It's a long trip up that mountain, my legs are weak and my strength is faint. The way to that altar is nothing but the way of death, my carnal corpse only seeks to escape but my deep soul seeks to step forward. Make my soul stronger, for I know that death is life for the body, while rest is real death of my existence. For the seed has to die to live, creatures have to suffer to bring out offspring, sometimes they have to die for other species to live. A predator's life is what keeps the prey kind from dying out of starvation if they increase in multitude. Shall I ignore the wisdom He placed in nature and life and in His words? Shall I wear that eye band and pretend I am enlightened and intelligent? A genius to myself and others but a fool and a joke to Him who have created me and to life and the laws of existence. I must go up, there where my heart longs, to that place of pain and sacrifice. A moment of pain yet years of joy yet to come. Shed no tears, spill the milk and the honey you gathered for yourself over that altar for they were not to fill you nor make you happy, You will only be happy when you are free. When you drop all that you have carried and cared for, all those sick selfish desires and those decaying possessions. You will only be alive when your wings are strong and your body is light, when you can spread your wings and fly, soar where you belong between those high heavenly clouds, where vision is clear and the joy is endless. The heaven has called your heart a lot, in your visions and dreams. You can almost hear it deep within your heartbeats all the time. Take a step forward, climb up towards that altar. Today is what will bring tomorrow as you saw it in your visions ahead of its time. Now is what will make then be as it should. A drop of blood now is nothing but invested salvation for tomorrow and the days to come. Close those eyes, feel it. The touch of His Spirit of Strength and Might. Hold onto that arm of His, Be strong and He will make you stronger, all you who hope in the LORD.

I have made my choice, I chose You Father and I have placed all on that altar..