The Wait

It's been haunting my brain for too long now, that terrible sticking headache. That pulse of pain that zaps across my neurons; that wave of hurt that runs through my system. Yes, I hurt but No, I'm not sick.. At least not physically. I believe it's my heart not my mind. I got a knife; a dagger: should I cut it out? Or just stab it? Is my cure in steel? Maybe. Would poison kill the pain? Or would that be another try in vain? Will drugs separate the hurt? Will medicine erase the memories? Or will they grow in me another obsession? I have put my heart through all the tests, examined it so closely and yet I don't understand why.. Why does it hurt? What keeps it feeling this way? Is time my cure? Does anyone know this for sure?? Why do my tears reject release? Why do I keep my sorrow to myself? Why do I write it down and keep it before me? Why does the past steal my future and rob me days of my pleasure? A land of thorns, a charging ox with horns, that asphalt ground, mourning with a terrible sound.. And You who read and listen, who know all stay so silent and quiet. You who has been with me from the beginning watch and wait. You who I have trusted and will. You who is dear to me, who I have no one else, Till when God will you keep your eyes closed and your ears shut to the cries and screams of my torn apart heart? How long? I choose to have no other choice but to wait and I will because You will Help me but.. Can You just move the time a bit faster? I ask for silly things that I know wont happen, You wont listen though You do. I will trust You and I will trust Your way. I should and I will and You will be on time.. The right time. That which I was promised will be for me and all that You have done will show the greatness of your plans and ways. Till that dawn shines, I wait.