The Hibernation of Feelings

My friends are always dear to me even if they don't know it. They keep their place in my heart though they might not value it. Through time they forget and by time they get colder, Leaving their place to be filled with emptiness.

I cant say I am the best friend anyone can get but I know I got my good sides and my bad sides. My bright days and my dark nights, my abilities and my needs. Don't we all?
Well lately I have decided to bring my feelings into hibernation..

I hope the impact of my words would not be shocking to you but I really believe that's the best thing I can ever do to save my energy and invest my time. Emotions have sucked life and joy out of me for there is no one who really cares about me and who I really am. Everyone is busy with his/her life and whenever the are in a good mode I might appear like a good memory to them. Jesus said:

"love your neighbor as you love yourself"

and yet I have never found that person who would follow what Jesus said yet people think I am very sensitive irrational, a hopeless romantic. I am not. atleast according to the words of Jesus I am not. People deserve and need to be loved and cherished like that but that cold System that we serve has really got into us all.

Another heartbreaking fact I face is that there is no one who would trust you when you knock at their doors to give love not to take. To help not to seek and to support not to be rescued. Many have fears of strangers even the ones with love in their hearts and marks of nails in their wrists.

Jesus My Lord, if they have rejected You, the Perfect One would anybody accept me with all my clumsiness and weakness? I doubt. Please Keep me warm in that Ice Age until the time is right to awake.