O heart of mine

Driving along the sleepless streets of Cairo, I took the long way home. Didn't want to go home anyway, guess I was just keeping myself busy: or maybe just trying to run away from myself. Mind was like a restless top, kept whirling around thinking; trying to put the pieces of this life puzzle together. Heart was not feeling well, caught up in denial of its actual status; helplessly trying to fill the empty space inside. I pictured an empty room as I was driving, it was so real that all that I actually saw seemed like a background movie. It was so empty and grey, as if no one lived there; but I did, I was just invisible and maybe I was grey as well. Someone took out the salt out of food, color out of nature and warmth out of me. Someone brought sunset so quickly that I couldn't enjoy the sunrise. Someone who was right here in this room, now left me with memories, hope and emptiness. Stupid I am! I should watch where I am driving. The night was so dark, the moon was pretty. Who knows what the day will bring? Ah my heart just shivered bitterly, poor thing I wouldn't mind if you stop and I wouldn't blame you if you failed me. O heart of mine, wish I could put you to rest, wish I had answers for you; wish I could tell you where your love has gone: all I can say is hang in there if you can, but if you can't I can never blame you. O heart of mine, you have met a lot of blades than men of war had, you have hurt deeper that sacrifices felt, you have flooded the dry lands with tears more than the clouds of the time of Noah did. Where is your love? Where is your life? How long can you hang on? How much can you bear?

I felt my heart answer, not in words but in beats.. Soft steady beats, like the soft waves of a tranquil sea. Very soft I couldn't feel them, like the fading sunset and the fainting scents. I wish you could talk to me as I do to you O heart of mine. Forgive me for I never knew how sensitive you are.. You can go, and leave my chest if you want to. You can stop and bring us to rest. You can even get angry at me if you want to. O heart of mine, I wish you were not mine and I guess you wish the same way too.