Unspeakable Love

Father, I look up to You. In my time of trouble and in the hour of affliction. Your face seems not to express anything while mine shows everything. You seem so much different from me though I am Your son. Your silence is a killer sometimes, Your stillness is tougher than the loads I carry but somehow You are doing the right thing. Your wisdom is beyond my humanly comprehension. Your ways are beyond my recognition but they take me to the right destination after all. I wait for You, Wait and wait. I keep my eyes fixed on You when my heart rips off my chest. When I am stabbed, hated and totally misunderstood. When I am counted as the enemy and avoided as poison. Sometimes Father all I have is hate and anger but it only lasts for a moment and disappears for that I am made of is love. Just like wine spilled on the floor, I am. I wonder no more for if Jesus was treated like so why would I be treated better? I am no greater than my Master, No better than my Teacher. All I have is just to look up to You Father for strength in time of darkness and for joy in time of pain. Only You Father know my heart, Only You Father know what it's like. Only you know the wounds of the one who loves. Only You who understand me and love me. I have no one else in this world but You. And really miss You here. Is there anyone in this world who has got a bit of Your love in her heart for me? Will there ever be? Vashti or Esther? I can not tell who is who anymore. All I have is an invitation, a red carpet and a celebration but it seems to me that no one of my guests is really interested. All are busy, worried and troubled. You have purified me like gold and even more precious I am. You have made me as clear as diamonds and pure as silver. Till now none realized my worth. None understood. But I am not upset about that for I believe You unlocked only one pair of eyes to see and understand and to want me. So I wait and wait for I know that day will come. And Till it does You keep me in Your furnace and purify me more and more. With Your silence and stillness. Your unspeakable love.